BRRRR. It's cold here! It got down into the 30s last night with promises of getting into the 20s tonight. WOO HOOO!!! People are freaking out, talking about the "arctic blast" while I laugh knowing that people in the Arctic would do a naked happy dance if they could have 24 degrees for a few hours. I went to the doctor early this morning and I was inhaling the cold air like it was crack. I must be a true Midwestern girl because damn if I don't love the cold. Maybe I'd get sick of living in it again for an entire winter, but I'm really not sure. If only we could get a couple inches of snow, then I'd be absolutely thrilled. It's supposed to be back in the 70s by the weekend, so my sweater wearing time is going to be brief.
A few months ago a friend of mine had her first child. It is weird for me to say this, but I don't know if I have ever seen a less maternal person in my life. & let me assure you that I am certainly no Mary Poppins. It is painfully strange for me to watch her with the baby, so much so that I almost wonder if she only agreed to have the baby for her husband, who is very into kids. I don't know how to describe it other than it's like she's read the instruction manual and is doing all of the appropriate and required caregiving but without any of the feeling involved. At one of our last visits, her daughter sort of choked while gulping down a bottle and she just let the baby go without adjusting her position, patting on the back or anything. It took all I had to fight the sheer instinct to reach over and move the baby from her reclining position because she just needed a little help getting the formula from her throat. Obviously the baby was fine, but it was just bizarre. I'm at the point where I am uncomfortable being around them and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. It isn't as if I don't believe she loves the baby or wants what is best for her, but it is incredibly awkward.
Conversely, one of the mothers from our library group brought her new baby in today. Her older daughter is 9 days older than Peanut and now she also has a 3 week old that she drug out in the cold. Is she insane? If I were her I'm pretty sure I'd still be at home in my sweatpants, with greasy hair and breastmilk smeared all over, but here she was looking pretty amazing considering. I tried to imagine myself with a 3 week old and quite honestly could not do it. The thought of having two small children freaks me out beyond words. I am pretty certain we're going to be a one child household, and from the spectacle that Peanut put on at the library today (class clown in the making), I think one will be plenty.
My Week in Tweets: June 28 - July 4
5 hours ago
Posts
10 comments:
I'm going to have a 26 month old and a newborn, and I assure you that though I will be out and about, I will not look pretty doing it.
At least not until I have to reintegrate in to the corporate world twice a week a few weeks afterwards. Until that moment, I will revel in my sweats and greasy hair. :)
Wow, that sounds weird, watching your friend with her baby. I know what mean about someone who seems to be just "going through the motions". Hopefully she'll warm up as she gets used to the baby!
Do you think that maybe your friend is suffering from post-partum depression? That just doesn't sound right.
As for the lady out with her 3 week old, I got the hell outta the house ASAP after Ella was born. I thought I was going to go crazy. I knew it was risky, but it was just a risky for my sanity to stay home. However, I did NOT look good. Hell, I still don't look good.
I am VERY INTRIGUED by your friend's situation, and I hope you will post more about it. Like J aka BB, postpartum would be one thing I'd wonder about. I would also wonder, as you did, if she didn't really want kids. I would ALSO wonder if she's someone who doesn't like little babies. Some people don't "tune in" to kids until they're more like 4-6 months old.
First, it was MINUS 7 here on this fine Minnesotan day. Hee hee.
Also, your friend is a little strange, I'd have to agree. Nothing seperates people faster than different parenting, but this sounds more... weird. I have a friend too, sorta like that. She's just not very... gentle. Tell us more!
I did like to get out after Marin was born. Not by myself and all three kids or anything... that is impressive...
My mother was one of the those who did the necessaries without really bonding/interacting with us. You can see it in pictures and home movies of the time and I "felt" it while growing up. Happily, I hope it taught me how to be an involved mom. But, like Swistle said, it could also just be that small babies are not her thing and that she will soften up as the baby gets older. Although, I love me some wrinkly, big eyed newborn. :)
WOO HOO for 30 degree Florida weather! I actually get to wear a coat today.
Too bad your friend seems not into the baby. I agree with the others maybe it is post-partum depression being covered up.
If this is your friend's first baby, and if she's never really been around kids before, she might not know how to handle a baby. But, I also think the situation sounds like it could be post-partum depression as well.
If Jason and I ever have kids (and right now we are firmly entrenched in the NO camp), we'll probably only have one, for a myriad of reasons. And sternum punches to those who try to tell us how wrong that is, to only have one.
P.S. It is below zero here in MN. I would kill for 20 degrees!
Wow, your friend sounds odd. That would be VERY awkward for me, too. I know you don't want to be around her right now for that reason, but I would advise trying to keep a bit of an eye on her, just in case it is PPD or even just new mom struggles, and she actually needs some help.
I also agree about the possibility of PPD with your friend. But not everyone bonds right away with thier child either. Maybe she just needs more time, like more time to sleep!
I wasn't ready for another child until E was 4, I had enough trouble handling her alone. Luckily T was born shortly before E started full day Kindergarten which gave me more time with him.
Post a Comment